85% of couples conceive in the first year, I am not one of them

It begins…

It’s currently 1:45 in the afternoon and I’m sitting in my office, feeling slightly ambivalent towards everything I do here. I’ve been meaning to start this blog for a while now, partly as a way to cope with what’s happening in my life, but mostly because I know I’m not alone, and I want those people to find me.

It’s not like fertility issues get a ribbon to slap on your car, it’s just not something people rally around and feel proud to talk about. The network is smaller, more fragmented then other cause-worthy ailments. We’re no AIDS or Autism, there is no cure in sight. It might as well be called the luck of the draw. We blog, we surf the baby and ttc forums, we go to our doctor’s office support groups, but largely, we still feel alone.

That’s what it’s like in the 15%.

I wonder if there’a a handy dandy breakdown of that 15% somewhere that shows what percentage of these couples are under 30. I’m guessing it’s less then half. Being 24 and finding out having a baby isn’t as easy as all your pregnant friends make it seem is like some sort of undocumented level of hell. Yep, that’s got to be it…the 10th level of hell: Being the only person in your circle of friends to never be pregnant. Inundated with pictures of beautiful, rosy cheeked babies on your facebook, glowing pregnancy pics, baby shower after baby shower, it hurts. You just smile and tap your foot impatiently, whens it going to be my turn?

After 12 months of trying, I knew it wasn’t going to be any time soon. There’s something wrong with us. Month after month of perfectly timed baby mambo sessons haven’t yielded a thing except a trash can full of crushed dreams and pee soaked OPKs and Answer brand pregnancy tests.

I took to Google, found myself a fertility clinic, and made an appointment….March 5. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. See, I don’t think the problem is me. My cycles are like old faithful….erm, maybe too literal. How about they’re as predictable and on time as Japanese transit? Works. I don’t have any outward issues like irregular cycles, breakthrough bleeding, pain, anything that would indicate a classic female fertility issue. I’m not overweight (closer to underweight), I get positive OPKs the day before O and 3 days of EWCM. That only leaves one person, my husband.

My money is on low sperm count. My husband is overweight, but not by a lot. He’s made changes to his diet and completely eliminated soda in an effort to make himself healthier. If low sperm count is the cause, how in the world do you help that?! I’m still the one who gets poked and prodded to work around that issue with IUI or even IVF…40% of infertility may be the cause of men, but 100% of women are the ones who have to suffer through it procedure wise. Unless you call masturbating in a cup and having blood drawn “suffering”.

I think that’s a good place to stop for today.

Comments on: "It begins…" (6)

  1. Hi. Welcome to the blogiverse. We have male factor issues and are in the process of making sure everything is A-OK with me. There are things that can be done about sperm count/motility, etc. Unfortunately for my husband, that means getting 6 injections a week. Unfortunately for me, I’m the one that has to give them! I hope you get some answers soon, and in the meantime, just know that you are not alone!

    • Yikes, my husband is such a squeamish guy. I’m not sure how he would react to having injections almost daily. I would have no problem giving them to him though, I’m not squeamish and I already pluck his ear hairs O_o

      Have you seen any improvement since starting them?

      • His next SA (semen analysis) isn’t until mid-April, but we’re hoping to see something by then. The last time he was tested (and for most of his life) he had no sperm whatsoever. His condition is pretty rare, though. I’ve heard that some men respond really well to Clomid if it’s just a low count.

      • Wow, a complete absence of sperm! Is there an underlying cause as to why his body is not making any? I never knew about Clomid being used on men, pills would certainly seem preferable to injections. When it comes down to it, anything is worth it to have a chance at having a baby. At least to me. I hope the injections yield great results for you and make it all worth it!

  2. Hello. I am also new to blogging and I am in the very beginning stages of TTC. I am so glad I finally found a blog I am interested in reading and that I can actually relate to. I hope that you get answers that will help you and your husband concieve, and I look forward to reading your future updates.

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