85% of couples conceive in the first year, I am not one of them

Too Close For Comfort

I’ve been terribly exhausted the last 3 days. Not tired enough to fall asleep, but not enough energy to really get anything done. My parents forced their way over for a visit, along with my forever alone 27 year old brother who still lives with them. They took us out to eat and left. I honestly just wanted to sleep, sleeping would have been more productive.

I know I should feel something for my family, but I just don’t. I grew up into my own independent person. I see them as some people I happen to know and don’t really have anything in common with, and certainly don’t “love” or have any real compassion for. It feels bad to feel that way but I can’t change the past. I don’t feel I was raised correctly at all. The fact that my brother has no friends and has never had a girl friend should be indicative of the kind of hazardous upbringing we had. Normal people don’t turn out this way…

My CD3 appointment was this morning. Getting out of bed was quite the hassle, who makes morning appointments anyway? The waiting room was crowded, and I waited a half hour for a simple 1 vial blood draw and my birth control prescription. The nurse this time actually let me choose which arm to take the blood from, a first! I gladly gave her my left, which has perfect veins and never hurts.

By the time I left it was 9:30, and the pharmacy didn’t open until 10. I just went home and laid down, no success in falling back asleep. I decided to get back up an hour later and go run some errands. I also planned on calling my clinic because I completely forgot to ask about my protocol. I had no idea how long I’d be on pills, when to get my meds, what’s next, etc. We’re planning to visit Florida the last week in October, and the IVF is going to run right down to the wire with that.

Out of the blue while driving around I get a phone call from….my clinic! It was the IVF nurse asking if I had filed my prescription yet. I said no, which made her happy. She was switching me to progestin only pills because of my clotting disorder. She would call it in for me, and I was fine with that. I asked her about my protocol, to which she explained that the next step would be on the 20th to sign my release forms, and she would call in and order my meds with the pharmacy that handles their IVF meds and have them shipped to me, same as the HCG shots I had been getting. It looks like I’ll have the 5 day transfer at the latest just days before leaving for my trip. I should still be able to go! Hurray!

So I guess there’s nothing really going on for the next 18 days besides waiting for a random call from the pharmacy demanding some monies I don’t have. That will be fun…

Comments on: "Too Close For Comfort" (2)

  1. I can relate to how you feel about your family. I can say that I do love mine, but I, too, feel like I grew up into my own individual person with a life completely separate from theirs. Maybe its because I’m an only child. Or maybe its weird BECAUSE I’m an only child. Who knows.

    I was curious…what sort of clotting disorder do you have? If you’ve written about it before, just direct me to the blog:) I only ask because I had to have some blood tests done to check for clotting issues {I actually fainted at that blood draw! They took nearly a pint!} and my results came back “borderline” so I’ve been referred to a hematologist for a more thorough check. But I’ve been putting that off. In the meantime I’m on a daily regimen of Baby Aspirin and folic acid. My OB says he doesn’t think its what caused my miscarriage, but could have been a contributing factor? I don’t know. Anyway, just curious. 🙂

  2. I’m not an only child, though my husband is and his family seems a lot more tolerable.

    I have factor V leiden. Basically it’s just a multiplication symbol for blood clotting. Baseline risk of bloodclots is slightly elevated, but if you do something like smoke or take birth control where the risk is elevated already, it just multiplies the risk. Since I don’t really do anything to encourage blood clots besides sit in an office all day, I don’t have much to worry about. My doctor will still force lovenox on me during my pregnancy I’m sure.

    I’ve heard that my disorder can have an increased risk of miscarriages because the cord connecting to the baby can develop clots and cut off blood flow. If you find you have any one of the numerous thrombophilia disorders, don’t freak. Blood thinners will basically fix everything.

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