85% of couples conceive in the first year, I am not one of them

Archive for April, 2014

75% Completion

Tomorrow we round the last corner into the home stretch. 9 mother….fucking….months. It seems like just yesterday I was crying about hemorrhoids the size of an unshelled peanut and huddling in a mass in the corner, afraid of my 7lb shrieking child.

The past month has been fairly blissful, possibly the best month yet. The nonsense crying was kept to a minimum but still existed. It seemed as soon as 8 months rolled around Parks mastered crawling, and with it came the freedom he has been craving since the beginning. Now that he crawls like a champ he doesn’t have time for crying!

As if mastering crawling wasn’t enough, he is also a pro at pulling to stand and transitioning from a crawl to a sit, back again, and from a crawl or sit to pull up to stand. His mobility exploded off the charts this past month. Cruising is next on the agenda for him. He does cruise, but it’s not very fast, and he certainly hasn’t mastered it yet. Since he went from nothing to clunky crawling to crawling pro in such a short time, I expect him to be proficiently cruising by next post. I also wonder if he will stand unassisted by then. Right now he has it down to 1 hand, or no hands while leaning his belly against something. I don’t expect any unassisted steps by next post despite the fact that my mother says my brother walked at 10 months. I just don’t see it happening. He can very clumsily walk with his walker, right now it tends to get away from him and he plays catch up.

STILL NO GOD DAMN TEETH. I’m so seriously angry at the lack of teeth in this kid’s mouth. It’s not even like there’s one starting to poke through, there’s no sign of teeth! He bites, raspberries constantly, still nonsense cries, tugs his ears and holds his head. Those damn teeth are in there and bothering him. JUST COME OUT ALREADY!. My grandmother thinks this means that he will get a bunch of teeth at once. I hope that isn’t the case. How sucky would that be?

Currently Parks eats both jars and table food depending on what is available. He gets boob in the morning, then a 4oz jar of fruit mixed with baby cereal for brunch after his first (and sometimes only) nap, boobs throughout the day every 2-3 hours as a snack usually with a bunch of puffs or a baby cookie, dinner around 5 consisting of another 4-6oz of food. He eats whatever I put in front of him. He’s had just about everything. I make a chicken breast for him and cut it into 2-3 days worth of shredded chicken, along with veggies and such. I just cut everything into bite sized pieces. This kid is SO food motivated. It doesn’t matter that I feed him his dinner before I eat and he’s nice and full, he still whines and tries to grab food off my plate when I eat. If he can’t get to my plate he hovers near me and gives me hungry eyes. I joke that I now have 3 animals begging for food when I eat. I’m thinking I’ll try to add a breakfast meal before his first nap, but some days he still spits up milk during that time, and I’m afraid of overfeeding him.

Current issues include his second nap and still spitting up. I dread feeding him anything orange. It never fails that he spits some of it back up and it stains my carpet and his clothes. At 9 months you’d think the spitting up would be long gone but oh no, when has Parks ever done anything by the book? Speaking of which, this kid has never been a by the book napper. He takes his first nap between 10 and 11:30 depending on when he wakes up. Sometimes he absolutely refuses a second nap and won’t sleep again until bed time at 8. You think he’d be a total crab ass by then but he usually isn’t overly crabby. Getting him to take a second crib nap depends on a lot of things, so lately I’ve been settling for him getting a few winks in while nursing. He will usually not take this second nap until 4 or 5pm. Still ends up sleeping well at 8 with minimal fussing so who knows.

Right now he is so go go go that I’m astounded he doesn’t sleep more. Mommy needs a break most of the time, and she doesn’t get it. Daddy still doesn’t bother watching the child, he’s too busy filling his plate with school and work and all sorts of other crap, making excuses as to why he shouldn’t give me a break. I feel like a single mom and it’s really affecting my desire to have more children. I refuse to have more until my husband is done with school and can dedicate time to being a family man instead of prioritizing all this other BS. It’s stressful to say the least. Most of the time I decide I’m happier by myself since all the attention he gives me is attention I don’t want. He acts so stupid, it bugs me. I realize this is a hard period, so I’m willing to work through it.

Still struggling with Diastasis Recti 9 months post postpartum. I hate the way I look at feel. I only have 4lbs of baby weight left to lose and yet my stomach is such a misshapen saggy mess. It’s depressing. I have like 0 muscle tone so everything is floppy and gross. When I wear properly fitting pants I get a big old roll of skin that hangs over when I bend. If I go the next size up the pants are falling off my ass! Even wearing shapewear doesn’t help, it just condenses my roll into a big blob. I hate this. I’m a slim ass woman, I don’t need a belly roll. It’s starting to take a toll on my back as well. With no muscle support in my abdomen my back has been picking up the slack. Since Parks is constantly on the move and the list of chores never done, I rarely get a chance to lay down and relax. Fingers crossed I get a spa day for Mother’s day. I deserve that shit.

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