85% of couples conceive in the first year, I am not one of them

Posts tagged ‘delay’

Delayed Ejaculation = delayed pregnancy?

My birthday was on Friday, I just turned 24. I really, really wanted to have a child before this birthday but I guess we don’t always get what we want. Hopefully 24 will by year in the sun!

This is as good a post as any to introduce my methods of conception. Methods of conception you say? There’s methods other than penis + thrusting + vagina = babies? I’m about to blow…your….mind. Yes. Yes there are. Chances are if you’re using the aforementioned method, you’d have no reason to believe there are other ways to make a baby between 2 healthy consenting adults. Spoiler alert…straight up penis + vagina sex just doesn’t work for everyone.

I am one of those people. We have an issue known as delayed ejaculation. It is exactly what it sounds like, ejaculation is delayed or non existent either through sex or by manual stimulation. My husband can get it up, keep it up, and up, and up….and up. There’s no down. SOUNDS AMAZING RIGHT?! Well yes and no. It’s great for me because I can get as much as I need to be happy, but because my husband does not experience a climax in sex, it’s no where near as enjoyable for him. When it comes to baby making, it down right sucks.

There seems to be 4 main external male issues; getting it up, keeping it up, keeping it in, and getting it out. Although some couples suffer with premature ejaculation, when it comes to baby making that sounds amazing. Especially dealing with the flip side.

We’ve gotten a pretty good system worked out to get around this. We will commence baby mambo for a little bit for my needs, my husband will end up stimulating himself until he’s about to pop, then a well timed thrust back in and voila! Almost like the real thing….almost. Sometimes the timing isn’t correct and we’ll get a small strike on an outlaying island, if you know what I mean. I’ll always end up with sperm in the right place when all is said and done. Because sex is exhausting and basically pointless for my husband, we’ve also adopted a second method. This involves some oral sexytimes wherein either I or he finishes and he goes into a plastic cup. I then take an oral medicine syringe, suck up all the sperm, and insert it myself.

Both methods have the same results as regular sex, sperm deposited all up in my business, so I’d have to assume that my methods have little to do with my lack of pregnancy thus far. The only issue these methods impart is frequency. Because we’re not one of those couples constantly fucking, we only try during my fertile window. Usually 1-2 tries in my 3 days of egg white cervical mucus. That’s all that matters right? Any sex outside of fertile sex isn’t going to get you pregnant. I’d LOVE to have sex twice a day for 5 days or whatever it takes so that I’m constantly stuffed with male DNA, but it’s never going to happen. It only takes one lucky sperm….that’s what I keep telling myself.

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