It seems like that is my life motto lately. As much as I want to be 100% all in and be excited, I just can’t. I can’t take that fall. It’s easier to expect the worst and secretly hope for the best. I envy those that can keep their heads up during such an uncertain time.
Progesterone is a crazy drug with lots of symptoms. I’ve been having strange cravings and a voracious appetite lately. Oh goodie I thought, this is a new symptom. Nope, apparently just a progesterone side effect. Incredibly sore boobies. Surely this must be a good sign. Nope, progesterone strikes again. Every progesterone symptom is the same as a pregnancy symptom!
I had a dream Thanksgiving that I took a bunch of pee tests and they were all positive. It was so real….until I woke up. Although I’m refraining from testing every single day, I did take a few tests just to see where my trigger levels were. First was the Monday morning after my trigger, bright positive of course. Next was the following Sunday, 1 week after trigger, light but not a squinter. Spurred by the Thanksgiving dream I tested Thanksgiving morning, 6dp3dt. It was a light squinter. At this point I can be confident any result from my beta will not be the trigger. I hate how my triggers last longer than 90% of women. It makes the 2ww even more stressful than it needs to be.
I’ve also been having a heavy feeling on and off, like period cramps. My cycles are so messed up I’m not sure what to expect. Nora Be gave me a light period every other week, and my last one was October 25th while on vacation. My period is due, and I feel like if I wasn’t on progesterone it would be coming. It’s that type of feeling. I can’t be hopeful with period cramps like this. Beta is on Tuesday, and I’m hoping for the best….but expecting the worst.