Ok ok, it’s only been 3 days but it feels like 7 years.
So last post I had my Sono, all was well with that. I was set to ovulate practically any day and wasn’t about to give up this cycle so I did what any woman would do in my shoes, fill her vagina with semen! Tuesday night I got such a parcel delivered and felt content about it, and fell asleep. I awoke the next morning, did what I had to do on the toilet, flowback is a go….and…dafuq? As soon as it comes rushing out I feel strangely itchy and irritated. I tried to brush it off and continued on to work. My pants rubbed on me, which was not pleasant. It would seem I’ve somehow contracted an overnight yeast infection! From semen!
Well to be fair it could be 3 things. I deliberately didn’t fill my prophylactic antibiotic prescription for the sono because I DIDN’T want to get an antibiotic caused yeast infection. I took a single ammoxicylin I had laying around the day of the procedure and that was it. There’s the semen, which has never given me that reaction before, and then there’s the fact that this is my first natural cycle in 3 months and my hormones are super wacky. I’m very prone to hormonal yeast infections. Who dun it?!
That night when I got home from work I popped in a spare treatment suppository. I usually only need to take day 1 of a 3 day to feel relief, which is why a 3 day can last me a whole year. I awake the next morning and….it hasn’t stopped. In fact it may have gotten worse. Hell hath no fury like a lady with a raging vag infection. My infections tend to not include the cottage cheese discharge normally attributed to yeast. They’re usually intense itching and swelling only. I could take it no longer and called up my doctor, who was nice enough to phone in a diflucan for me. I couldn’t get to the pharmacy fast enough. I popped that diflucan and waited. In the mean time I discovered the unbridled joy an ice pack can bring up in your sniz. Genius.
I ended up getting some monistat hydrocortizone cream. I’m not sure how well it works since I applied it right before bed and it didn’t seem to do much. When I got up this morning it seemed far better. It’s still not cured, but it’s overall not as itchy. Although since I started writing this there has been an itchy spot paining me. The swelling has gone down too. I still feel as though the happiest place I could be right now is Antarctica, dragging my hind quarters over an iceberg leaving a cartoonish steam trail and a groove in the ice. God I hate this feeling. Though most ladies have been here or will be, most don’t get them quite as often as I do. I blame you, hormones!
So now I get to spend my weekend with ice on my sniz, hoping to feel better by Monday. My OPKs turned ridiculously positive on CD14, they’ve remained just as dark over the past 2 days. This is not really normal for me. My temp dipped today so I haven’t released an egg yet. I’m sure my chart will spike tomorrow. Either way, it’s like the cosmos is cock blocking me, quite literally. It WANTS me to do IVF. Absolutely can’t get pregnant this cycle, nope, cosmos forbid. Of course I can’t have sex or even think about putting more semen in me, it feels like a raging bitch fest down there! COSMOS Y U COCK BLOCK ME?!